Coronavirus update: How can I save my wedding?
There’s a lot that goes into planning a wedding, but one thing no one counted on was that a global pandemic would mean that many weddings over the next two months won’t happen. It’s a really stressful time! You’re worried about your health and the health of your loved ones. The last thing you want to do is to put your wedding guests at risk. You’re thinking about cancelling or postponing your wedding. But you’ve paid your deposits and signed contracts. What can you do to save your special day?
Stay calm
Right now your focus should be on making sure that you and your partner are safe. Maybe you’re under self-quarantine already or preparing for it. Give yourself time to process everything that’s happening and be kind to your yourself for the emotions that you’re feeling. Nothing about this is easy.
One thing to remember is that everyone in the wedding industry is in the same boat right now. There are many concerned people who have weddings in the next two months. You can expect that your guests, vendors, and venue will be understanding as you start your conversations with them. We are all focused on health right now, and we will understand why you might want to postpone your wedding.
Talk to your venue
If your wedding is around the corner, it’s very likely that your venue may have already reached out to you. It’s unlikely that venues will proceed with events over the next eight weeks now that the CDC had issued its latest recommendations. Talk to your venue about your options. Most will offer to apply your deposit to a new wedding date. Be sure to have one in mind – many other couples are doing the same thing right now and future dates are filling up fast.
Talk to your vendors
Once you’ve talked to your venue, it’s time to touch base with your vendors. Make sure to reach out to everyone – your caterer, florist, rentals, officiant, and entertainment. If you have a new wedding date, now is the time to share it. You can do this all in one email to all your vendors to quickly see if they are available on the new date. Make sure to ask them if their services will be affected by the new date (maybe the showcase flower on your wedding bouquet won’t be in season anymore, for example).
Check your orders
Right now it’s hard to get anything from overseas. If you’ve placed and order for a dress or ring and expect it to be shipped to the United States, you should get in contact with your seller right away. Ask your seller what you can expect and what options they can give to you to make sure you get your items.
Tell your guests
Your guests are probably expecting to hear from you about your wedding especially if they’re traveling to it. Right now most people are unwilling (or unable) to fly. Reassure them that you still intend to have a wedding but that you’ve postponed the date for everyone’s safety. You’ll need to get confirmations again from your guests since the new date might affect your guest count. That’s okay – as long as the most important people are there it will all be worth it in the end.
Feeling overwhelmed? Tell me what’s on your mind and I’ll do my best to give you advice to make the process a bit easier. Everyone in the wedding industry loves love and wants you to celebrate your special day. We are here to support you!
LGBTQ+ And Getting Married in 2019
The wedding industry is evolving and becoming more diverse and inclusive. Ever since gay marriage became legal in all 50 states four years ago the LGBTQ+ community no longer is invisible. Over time, it became more common to see non-straight narratives in advertisements and more industries have shown their support, but unfortunately we still have a long way to go. This dawned on me one day as I experienced what it is like to feel uncomfortable while looking for a wedding vendor. Still, there’s a lot of positive things that have happened over the years so here’s a little of my experience. I also included advice for those of you who are in the industry on how to become a better LGBTQ+ Ally.
Mr. & Mrs.
One thing I always thought was tacky were the Mr. and Mrs. signs – at least until I walked into a store and saw Mr. and Mr. gift bags. I had never seen them casually displayed anywhere before. It’s nice to see how inclusive the market has become. Now, you see cards for same-sex couples, cake toppers, all types of merchandise that never existed before. But as great as it is to see more inclusive items, sometimes they can still make people uncomfortable. A venue I visited had a Mr. & Mrs. sign hammered to their wall. As a same-sex couple (speaking for Jeremy and myself) it’s not a problem to see something like this, but when it’s permanently attached to the wall it shows my partner and I that you never thought to cater to same sex couples. So if you yourself own a business, keep in mind if you have novelty bridal items such as Mr. & Mrs. and no same-sex selection it looks as though you are not an ally or comfortable working with same-sex couples. Just something to keep in mind – a little effort goes a long way.
Say yes to the dress
One scary experience for same-sex couples is showing up to a vendor meeting with your partner and having the vendor look at you in shock. I had an experience like this that I want to forget, but it happened to Jeremy and me. I made the mistake of not mentioning my fiancé was a man. Luckily, we have mostly had vendors greet us with open arms, and so have other same-sex couples we know. Jeremy’s cousin was afraid of poor treatment when calling to reserve slots for her and her fiancé Nicole’s wedding dress fitting. She wanted to mention that they were a same-sex couple on the phone to one bridal shop but before she could say it, the associate asked if they were and made them feel totally comfortable. This made them feel good, because there is always a fear someone might make you feel unwanted. No one wants to made feel different or ashamed for who they love.
Gay wedding
Some people get so excited when they hear about gay weddings. Their curiosity gets the better of them. They ask things like: Who is the bride? The groom? Is it the same as a heterosexual wedding? The answer is none of that matters. All weddings are the same, it’s two people are taking a vow to be together forever. It’s not a gay wedding – it’s a wedding. Most traditions are the same but same sex couples tend to be a little less traditional. In the LGBTQ+ community we try and be inclusive with everyone. We try not to label everything and everyone in masculine/feminine terms. So let’s shy away from assuming it’s always bride/groom. Instead ask: Are you the bride? And your what’s your fiancé’s name? Do this instead of handing over a form to fill out with the words bride and groom printed on it.
The key to being an ally is simply showing a bit of support. Treat the LGBTQ+ community with the same respect as one would for any other couple. We are all human and I am a firm believer that we are here to love. Let’s break away from our old school thoughts of only man/ woman weddings. Not everyone is the same, and together we can make the world more inclusive and an overall better place.