wedding

How to deal with loss before your Wedding

Most of us have dealt with the loss of a loved one. No matter if we are prepared for it or not, it can be very heartbreaking. What does one do when you are planning a wedding and a family member passes away? It’s a nightmare turned reality for some unlucky people - one that I’ve seen happen a few times. 

Huge flower to commemorate the loss of a loved one.

Ways to cope 

There is no magic antidote or any medicine that can help you cope with a death of a loved one especially right before such an important time in your life. I think one of the best ways to cope is by making their presence known at your wedding. One of my brides had an ofrenda that is customary in her culture. An offenda is a table filled with photos, candles, and flowers for loved ones who have passed. Right before she walked down the aisle, she visited it and made a prayer. This helped her pay her respects and made her feel complete. Many people choose to do very similar things like having a photo of their loved one on a table where everyone can see. Some even leave an empty chair with a photo of them at the ceremony. You can even add a locket to your bouquet with a photo. These things won’t take your pain away but it will make you feel as though they are there with you and every little reminder of them helps. 

Small tabletop floral arrangement with roses anemones in a copper vase.

It’s ok to cry 

Let it out, it’s OK to cry. You are already going through so many emotions. This is a stressful and very happy time in your life. Losing someone you love is devastating for some. But remind yourself of the love that they had for you. Would they want you to feel this pain on your wedding day? Ask yourself this question and think about how happy they are for you even though they are unable to be there for you physically . This is the time when all of your family members will be together and even though there will be a moment of sadness you will all rejoice with happiness for the love and marriage that has been created.

Hard holding a beautiful white garden rose.

They are always with you 

I believe that the people you love stay with you way after they are gone. They live in our hearts and in our memories. I’ve lost a few people that I love very much and I’ve noticed over time that they have made their presence known to me in some way or another. I’ve had my grandparents visit me in dreams before birthdays, and photos appear in random places at times when I needed them the most. If you believe in life after death we must remember that they will always watch over us and send their love and blessings no matter where they are. 

Floral centerpiece with white tulips and mimosa.

I never like to see my brides go through such a hard time right before an event they have dreamt of for most of their lives. I’ve had brides lose their loved one a day before her wedding. I have seen strength in these beautiful women and I have seen happiness in them too. Death is a part of life – it’s a new chapter and with all new chapters we must accept that they are moving on to a better place. Even though they are no longer with us physically they live in our hearts forever.

Hand holding a small bunch of flowers.